Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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