omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
