Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
