I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
