I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
