After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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