Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Randomize
