think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
