haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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