No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
