cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
