those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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