I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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