the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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