I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
