your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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