im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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