just come out here and I will go home with you...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
