I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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