I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
