My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
