i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
