used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
NoShamevember. You game?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
