he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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