It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize