its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
