Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
