i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
