4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
