saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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