i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want her autograph on my taint
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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