why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize