he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
