I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
why is half of my head shaved?
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