I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He better not be in your backpack
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
