I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
