Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
