They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
