talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
