It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
