guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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