no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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