she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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