After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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