Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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