Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's blow job season.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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