question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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