I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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