I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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