I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
