are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
