I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
