If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
