mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
