I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
