He told me they were just razor bumps!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize