The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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