im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
