glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
