I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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